Welcome All—to my naked inner thoughts displayed for your enjoyment, your education, or perhaps your scorn…
As a small child, I watched a Jim Henson movie, The Dark Crystal, and it sparked the beginnings of a deeper understanding—a notion that spawned many questions of spirituality and the world that surrounds me. This movie did what church every Sunday and Bible study never did for me, it provided my first real awakening and sent me on a long complex journey of self-discovery.
I do not follow any religion because in every one I find cracks, perhaps man made flaws that have crept in over time. I am capable of critical and rational thought—if an underlying agenda exists, the manipulation will eventually expose itself to me.
I came to learn that it does not matter what methodology you use to achieve inner placidity, as long as you get there.
I have suffered and survived much peril and loss; experiences that have strengthened my interior. There is an almost unshakable stillness in me now.
A few years ago, I was having a pain filled night (I suffer from Lupus) and it was my late first husband’s birth date dawning when I wrote:
This morning, in the dark, I found myself dancing with the demons of the 19-year-old widow I was a lifetime ago. The winds of change are cruel, how you bend, how you break, how the boney shards stab you in the lungs until you cannot breathe. I sit and write, a peculiar glue that I use over and over to piece myself together, to welcome the morning light in my new distortion.
Often, we are being transformed; we cannot tell what is happening. While struggling with the pain of change, it is often impossible to see the new self we are becoming. While feeling our hand pried loose by experience, we seldom can imagine what will fill that space once it is free.
Everything decays and regenerates, and there is a comfort in that. I do not fear death, and I need not fight the process that will take me to other forms of being. We all have this life until we don’t. I look around at all the people who spend it clawing and fighting with each other about who is right and who is wrong, to what end?
I have no defined belief system—that would imply that I have a conclusion, a complete knowing. I will forever be the scientist gathering data and challenging hypothesis after hypothesis. I need not the answer, but the satisfaction of the constant riches of discovery. My mind is open and full of wonder.
If what you think becomes your reality…what is your reality? Tell me in the comments below.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences here Kami. You asked the question “If our thoughts produce our reality, what is our reality?”
The answer, it seems to me, that if our thoughts produce our reality our reality could be unlimited “anything” imaginable.
This “unlimited anything” would tend however, to a polar extreme of infinite good, or infinite bad, depending upon which tendency the thinker tends to think. A heaven or hell ultimate reality when taken into eternity (which is infinity).
When people study NDE’s, what we find is that near death experiences have very similar or general characteristics no matter what the belief system of the person dying held prior to their NDE. 1. The spirit world exists. Atheists do not cease to exist like they imagined they would. (This draws into question the validity of the idea that our thoughts create our reality.) There is a reality that is far bigger than we are whether we like it or not.
2. It seems from the study of NDE’s that Life, (or the Spirit of Life) is the ultimate reality and if we are hostile towards Life, that is, if we hate our existence, we are likely to have a negative NDE (or afterlife). While if we love Life, it seems our afterlife experience is more positive.
Whatever the experience, one thing seems very clear. Those who experience the other side are generally deeply affected by their experience and there seems to be a general consensus that we continue to exist after we pass.
For me, I am thankful Life caused me to exist. Thankful Life allowed my bad thoughts to break me, and surrender to the Mind of the Spirit of Life to guide me rightly, to guide me into admitting all my faults honestly so Life is able to live in me here and now. As opposed to Evil, or the disease I call “Bad-Idea-itis”.
When I submit to Truth, or the Spirit of Truth, as best as I understand it, then I have a sense of peace and Sanity that seems consistent with the Spirit of Life.